Conquering Overwhelm: Discover the 10-Second Tool That Transformed My Life

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed something I don’t like.

I’ve started saying no more often.

Not the healthy kind of no—the boundary-setting, self-protective kind.

But the shrinking kind. The kind of no that comes from fear, from overwhelm, from that internal whisper that says, It’s too much. You can’t handle it. Sit this one out.

That whisper has gotten louder over the years. And the more I listened, the more I realized I was pulling back from the life I actually wanted—connection, joy, adventure. Especially when something felt physically scary or emotionally uncertain. Saying no had become my default.

So when my kids asked me to join them on a high ropes course during a family outing—something that absolutely terrifies me—I almost didn’t even consider it.

The typical response would be: Nope. Not today. I’ll take pictures of you!

But this day was different.

I’d been quietly developing a tool—something I call the “Can I?” Game—to help people move through moments of overwhelm in tiny, doable steps the brain can actually say yes to. I’d seen it work in myself and with my therapy clients, but I hadn’t yet used it in a moment this big—this personal.

It’s time to put it to the test, I whispered to myself.

So I broke the experience into 10-second chunks.

And when it got stressful, I focused my attention fully on the numbers—counting slowly as I moved forward, one step at a time.

And somehow, one micro-yes at a time, I was doing it.

With my kids. Laughing. Moving. Fully present.

I even have a photo from that day—30 feet in the air, smiling in a harness.

But the most powerful moment came later.

I reached a platform where a young teenage girl stood frozen in panic, three stories high. Her friends were trying to encourage her to step onto the rope, but it wasn’t happening. She was overwhelmed and shut down—and there was no easy way back down.

I gently asked if she’d like help. She nodded.

“Okay,” I said. “All we’re going to do is count from 10 to 1. That’s it. Just focus on the numbers. Nothing else.”

I started counting calmly, slowly, as she took the first step. Then another. She made it across.

I didn’t see her again until later, when she came to find me at the bottom. She smiled and said, “Thank you.”

She had gotten through something incredibly stressful—10 seconds at a time.

That was the moment I knew:

This tool wasn’t just something to help me.

It was something I needed to bring into the world—for her, and for anyone who feels stuck, frozen, or overwhelmed by life’s demands.

Because overwhelm doesn’t just make us anxious.

It makes us unavailable—to our kids, our partners, our goals, our joy.

And avoidance, no matter how justified, doesn’t lead us toward the life we want.

But presence—even for ten seconds at a time?

That changes everything.

This is just one of a series of tools I’ve developed as part of a science-backed system called Create the Win—a way to help people move through overwhelm and say yes again to the things that matter. If this resonates with you, I’d love to keep in touch. You can find me at [insert website/landing page].